Married and Cheating: Why Nobody Will Tell You
Because, it got to the point where you could no longer ignore the whispers and funny looks coming from your friends and family. No they never did come right out and tell you but their reaction whenever they saw you and your spouse together was always the same. They would look at you uniformly with a combination of pity and curiosity.
Finally you pulled one of them aside and asked them what was going on. It was like pulling teeth but eventually they told you what they had "heard from reliable sources." Come to find out after a little more investigation on your part friends and family had heard the same thing from seemingly the same reliable source.
News has always traveled fast thanks to the most powerful form of communication that has ever existed; word of mouth. Previous generations did not need television or the internet to get their information quickly. Rumor or fact was irrelevant. Once word of mouth got a hold of a story it moved like lightning across neighborhoods, regions and if necessary the entire country.
And few stories ever circulate faster than talk of a cheating spouse. Someone saw your spouse sitting in their car talking with someone. Doesn't seem like much, except the person in question was a stranger and they appeared to be engaged in overly intimate conversation with your spouse. From that point on the fuse has been lit. The news moves rapidly to everyone except you.
Why doesn't it come your way?
1. The Bearer
Most people love a juicy piece of gossip but very few of us want to be the bearer of bad news to the person whom the gossip readily affects. They may shake their head with sadness or laugh at you for being so blind but in no way do they want to get involved.
2. Your Unexpected Reaction
They know of instances when friends tried to interfere and tell someone their spouse was cheating. It did not go well. The person flew into a rage and accused the friend of trying to destroy their marriage. The only thing that got destroyed was the friendship.
3. Unsubstantiated
Sure they have heard the news all around but have any of them seen the actual infidelity take place? More than likely the answer is no. So why should they tell you something they have no first hand knowledge of? No matter how much they may trust their source in essence they really do not have anything to go on.
Finding out with concrete evidence your spouse is cheating is one thing; relying on third party information is another thing entirely. People have been known to be wrong and the result is a break up of a relationship thanks to nothing more than rumor and innuendo.
Finally you pulled one of them aside and asked them what was going on. It was like pulling teeth but eventually they told you what they had "heard from reliable sources." Come to find out after a little more investigation on your part friends and family had heard the same thing from seemingly the same reliable source.
News has always traveled fast thanks to the most powerful form of communication that has ever existed; word of mouth. Previous generations did not need television or the internet to get their information quickly. Rumor or fact was irrelevant. Once word of mouth got a hold of a story it moved like lightning across neighborhoods, regions and if necessary the entire country.
And few stories ever circulate faster than talk of a cheating spouse. Someone saw your spouse sitting in their car talking with someone. Doesn't seem like much, except the person in question was a stranger and they appeared to be engaged in overly intimate conversation with your spouse. From that point on the fuse has been lit. The news moves rapidly to everyone except you.
Why doesn't it come your way?
1. The Bearer
Most people love a juicy piece of gossip but very few of us want to be the bearer of bad news to the person whom the gossip readily affects. They may shake their head with sadness or laugh at you for being so blind but in no way do they want to get involved.
2. Your Unexpected Reaction
They know of instances when friends tried to interfere and tell someone their spouse was cheating. It did not go well. The person flew into a rage and accused the friend of trying to destroy their marriage. The only thing that got destroyed was the friendship.
3. Unsubstantiated
Sure they have heard the news all around but have any of them seen the actual infidelity take place? More than likely the answer is no. So why should they tell you something they have no first hand knowledge of? No matter how much they may trust their source in essence they really do not have anything to go on.
Finding out with concrete evidence your spouse is cheating is one thing; relying on third party information is another thing entirely. People have been known to be wrong and the result is a break up of a relationship thanks to nothing more than rumor and innuendo.
9:16 AM
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